When do you persevere in the face of resistance and when do you throw in the towel?

Anyone pursuing that new job or career, romantic partner, or success in their business, I’m sure you’ve heard a time or two,  “Keep at it! It takes time and perseverance.”

In response, you may say to yourself, “When do you call a dream, a vision, a desire, an energy suck, a dud, and officially give up?”  

No one, absolutely no one, is a stranger to resistance in some area of life. At some point, we have all relied on one or more of these motivational quotes to keep us going:

• “Paralyze resistance with persistence” – Woody Hayes

  
  

• “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up” –Thomas Edison

  
  

•  “It’s not rejection, it’s redirection” – Unknown

  
  

• “If it’s not important, or has no meaning, there wouldn’t be resistance” - Unknown

  • Or similarly, “where there is power, there is resistance” – Michel Foucault

    
    

• “The path of least resistance is what makes rivers run crooked” – Elbert Hubbard

Resistance in no way means you’ve failed, or that what you’ve aspired to have or achieve is impossible.

I always say: if you can dream it, desire it, or envision it, it’s because you are tapping into a version of yourself already doing it. If it’s not meant for you, you simply won’t see the potential for its existence. Trust that what’s meant for you will never pass you by.

However, I should offer up the caveat that we must have a healthy checks and balances system in place that helps us see when we’re acting from outside influence and what others envision for us or “what worked for them” vs following our own internal compass and where we know we will be the most fulfilled. 

As a heal-ing people pleaser, I’ve spent most of my adult life navigating this pattern. People pleasers over-index on their outside world viewing someone’s “validation” (can show up in many forms) as fulfillment and a reflection of their value and worth. Acknowledging, the root to this pattern being, “I care so much for others,” but that doesn’t mean we don’t equally address our own needs. Everything is a balance in life. You can’t give from an empty cup, and this pattern presented so much resistance for me in my business until I healed from it. I would keep calling to myself “takers” that took to the point of depletion until I finally started addressing my own needs and what I needed to do to fill up my own cup. Self-care is the best care, babes! But I digress.

Resistance is not a bad thing. See it as alchemy in action. Consider the alchemical process a diamond goes through in its formation. The resistance is there to get us asking the questions: what is this resistance showing me or mirroring back to me what’s not working or where I’m out of alignment?

The biggest challenge is just showing us our weak spots. It’s there to get us back to the drawing board, change, transform, innovate, refine, and pivot. To open us up, and strengthen us; get us energetically aligned to the opportunity or opportunities that present the path of least resistance.

Life is truly meant to flow effortlessly. We are the ones who label, or view it, as “resistance” because we feel the friction - the uncomfortable friction that lights a fire under us, forcing us out of our sleepy comfort zone.

Perspective is everything. You can view the resistance as a negative or positive, it’s your choice. Yes, change can be friggin challenging! Especially the kind of change that leads to the most profound and life-altering transformations. When we avoid the process, it just leads to stagnation and unfulfillment. I’ve seen it too many times.

Some of the wackiest inventions that were destined for the landfill saw the most success when they were re-purposed and rebranded, right? Those in leadership who’ve been in the tech space for a while have seen a decommissioning or restructuring a time or two as technology evolves and demand changes. When you have a product that’s run its course and you’re deep in sunk cost fallacy you bring a consultant in, go back to the drawing board and pivot, right? You don’t throw in the towel! When you’re a large, mature, established company, and you have to pivot it’s like having to quickly veer left in a huge cargo ship in the middle of a sea storm. It can be painful and emotional. You do your best to salvage what you can, but you’re going to lose some of your cargo in the form of employees, clients, etc. Once that storm is over it’s smooth sailing, figuratively speaking. 

So if we give up and throw in the towel, we risk a huge fulfilling opportunity…not to mention growth! 

Now, you may ask, is the resistance showing me a timing factor? Am I just ahead of my time and people need to catch up? You may hear that narrative out in the coaching and self-help communities. My response to that is if everything is always working out as it should for your highest and greatest good, sorry, no, time is not a factor. However, if you are one to view patience as synonymous with time, then perhaps. Patience is a deep understanding and acceptance that rejection is redirection and it’s important to trust the process. There are never any accidents. What you originally envisioned may completely transform, and that’s ok. 

Whenever there is any sense of urgency - fear, anxiety, and the ego is at play. That’s when you’re likely to be met with resistance in some way shape or form. You also risk not acting from your true instinct and internal compass, going through the necessary refinements that put you in alignment with the energy you need to embody.

Don’t forget, all it takes is that one person, that one investor, that one client or employer who sees your value and potential, and fulfillment follows. View everything that “doesn’t work out,” as a warm-up, not a rejection. Keep at it, and keep evolving. 

Namaste - I respect and honor you.